Saturday Update

This following update is for the family and close friends that I know who read this and who are far away and might like to know what's going on.

I will be concise and try to spare details, which is difficult to do.

Friday:

She woke up to a bit of vomiting. Unfortunately, what she vomited was new and different and indicative of a turning point. Hospice is now here around the clock. We had a few family visitors and she opened her eyes and whispered hello to each of them, but for the most part she seems to have fallen into a big sleep-- with intermittant bouts of uncomfortable/restlessness that are treated with adjusting her position or administering medications. She woke up enough last night to sort of make it known that she wanted to be moved from the couch back into her bed. So we got her moved.

[The following paragraph is an aside-- not informative of my mother's condition in the least. Please skip to the next paragraph.]

By "we" I mean people other than myself as I had zonked out around 11 with the idea I would wake up in a few hours to sit up with her. My body and mind had other plans and instead of waking up and maintaining a vigil, I dreamt of Jamaica and swimming in the ocean with my dad and we were on inflatable rafts and we were discussing the animals that might or might not be living in the deep water and we went too close to this coral reef jutting out of the water and there was a shriveled orca whale almost-dead stuck on the reef. There was nothing we could do and then we realized we had punctured our flotation devices on the jagged coral and we had to swim to shore fast because my dad is a good swimmer but I am not, and I was worried I wouldnt' make it, and we had to find the bus to get to the airport because I was sure we were late but I didn't have a watch. As we were swimming back I appologized to my dad for my insisting he prove his point.

[resume reading here:]

Some other relatives paid a quick late night visit and now it is Saturday mid-morning.

Her words are gone. She still makes some sounds, but no words.
Her eyes are closed.
Her lungs are taking in air.
Her heart is beating.

My dad opted out of his philharmonic concert last night, even though he was concertmaster, and he has not left her side for days and days and days and thirty years.

Her youngest sister is flying in this afternoon. Ever the hospitable one, I think my mother probably doesn't want to leave until her sister gets here to say hello.

Back before, my mom told my dad she wanted us to be happy for her when she finally goes. I don't know if "happiness" will be quite the feeling I experience, but I know we will all certainly feel relief.

A few words from Deepak Chopra to get us through the day:

"When you struggle against this moment, you're actually struggling agains the entire universe."

"Accept what comes to you totally and completely so that you can appreciate it, learn from it, and then let it go."

Words for all of us.

And here: A quick expression of gratitude to Hospice. Thank you.

And to all my loyal readers (many of whom are family): thank you for the good energy. Keep it coming this way for just a bit longer.

Posting may be scarce for the next few days.

love.

Melinda