The common thread of forgetting to remember

Today I was in the kitchen and I saw out of the corner of my eye our neighbor's car pulling into their driveway. And for a splitsecond moment my mind said "oh, mom's hom--" the thought was never completely carried out as I remembered that my mother is dead and therefor not very likely to be pulling into our driveway ever again.

Today my dad sat on the front porch and had a brief thought of that he should call her, but then he remembered what I remembered.

My aunt still waits to get phone calls from her and then she remembers.

My sister flew back to Tahoe and today of course my mother would have called to check in on her and make sure she got there okay.

I went to Fashion Shop and think my mother would have approved of my 6 dollar quilted coat-- she thought it was cute back when it was 26 dollars. I'm a bit dubious of the charcoal color, but it was the only size "small".

Today was so warm. I wore flip flops. And my mom's just not around anymore. And sometimes I forget to remember. And that's different than denial. And the therapist says that's normal.

And there's this strange twingy twisty pain right below my right ear lobe and above my jaw bone. It's like if I ate something really sour, but it happens when I'm not eating.

And I think I've covered everything for today. DIS-missed!